Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
