last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize