I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
