I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
