Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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