32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We had to coat check the pizza.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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