Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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