i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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