She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
