Soap is not a condiment
im holly from the hills drunk
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
