first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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