Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
