If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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