i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
