I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
