Umm I'm too high to move.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
