You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
