just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sober January is a disaster.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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