i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
