Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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