Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
