I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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