if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
