well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
