Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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