I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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