dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
