i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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