Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
