you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
