My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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