There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.