just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.