I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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