I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
