Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Jerry, you need to find god
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating