Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
