Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.