yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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