Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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