I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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