Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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