Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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