So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
