You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
