just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
