Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
