So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
