i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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