You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize