the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
