once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
