im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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