Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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