im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
