It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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