Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So here I am, sexting at work.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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