come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
