Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
