I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
