I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
