Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
