He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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