I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
