There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
