please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize